An Affirmation Conversation

Haha, sorry, I had to use that title .. the rhyme was too good not to.

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ANYWAY, I digress ..

I went into my phone notepad the other day to type out another grocery list and noticed how many notes I had jotted down in that space. Like, excessive amounts. I was scrolling through them all and the list was comprised of notes (duh), ghosts of grocery lists past, phone numbers that I have no idea what office they belong to, hashtags for Instagram because, I am a millennial after all; there were recipes I had forgotten about and addresses to doctor’s offices but then I stumbled across my affirmations I had written for the day of my biopsy, 3/8/19. This stopped me dead in my tracks and all the feelings I felt from that day came rushing back.

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Three strong words I needed to cling to and the directions to where I was expected to be that day.

I remember the night before trying to keep calm, trying to remind myself that no matter what the day or results held for me or what the procedure was going to be like I needed to keep it together and take it one step at a time. I wrote down these affirmations before I even took on this lifestyle change of trusting myself and telling the universe what I expected. This was before I even really believed in affirmations as much as I do today. It’s funny how I subconsciously already knew what I needed before I even learned of it.

The whole night prior, as I tried to fall asleep, I recited this affirmation I created.

I am strong, I am calm, I am healthy.

The car ride to Boston that day was about an hour and none of us were in a wonderful mood, so in the silence of anxious energy, in the back seat of my parents’ car, in between choking back sobs and clutching my Xanax bottle (again, this was before I had even researched holistic practices) I quietly said those words to myself again and again.

I am strong, I am calm, I am healthy.

Those were the only three things I could think of that I wanted to be that day and beyond. I wanted to be strong and not break down. I wanted to be calm and know that I could handle whatever was to come and above all, above anything in this whole world, I wanted to be healthy.

I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t very strong at some points of my biopsy and I’m pretty positive the doctor who performed my biopsy would rate me as one of his least calm patients (my first lesson that Xanax is not the problem solver I needed), but I got my wish. I didn’t have cancer.

Affirmations are so important. You have to speak into existence what you believe and want for yourself. You have to speak it out to the universe so it becomes reality, a reality you created for yourself. These affirmations kept me calm and strong (as possible) and healthy. Those same words I spoke on that scary day continue to stay with me today and as I received the information that my tumor had shrunk. They will carry me through all of my future MRI’s and all of my future appointments, Desmoid Tumor related or not.

Below is one of my favorite quotes because it resonates with me on such a deep level in my journey. If you get nothing else out of this blog post, I hope this resonates with you too.

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Try it out for yourself and let me know what you’ve affirmed and how you’ve felt it worked. You can manifest and affirm something as small as a close parking spot on a rainy day, or, you can kick it up a notch and borrow mine if you need to feel strong, calm and healthy.

2 thoughts on “An Affirmation Conversation”

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