The house is quiet. It’s probably the first time since Oliver was born that we are all home but the only sounds are me typing, the dog snoring and the TV on low. That’s about as quiet as it’s going to get and I’m very content with it.
I am returning back to work on Monday from maternity leave. Full time, in an office.
When I graduated college I couldn’t wait to get a steady 9-5. I imagined what my someday office would look like, how I would get dressed like a professional daily, who I would collaborate with and what role I would take in a company. Everything career related was so exciting to think about and I just wanted to dive into it as soon as I could. My first shot at career life was at a local news station. I truly wanted to be a TV journalist and even went to school for journalism, but after spending 1 year of holidays in the newsroom without my family, I realized I just wouldn’t be happy. I was so lucky to fall into a career of marketing shortly after my Katie Couric dreams were shattered. Marketing made so much sense because I was still able to write, tell stories to an audience and be creative, but I was able to have turkey dinner on Christmas. I’ve been in marketing since 2013 and I can whole heartedly say I love what I do.
I’ve found, though, that as time goes on, the office I had dreamed of and the 9-5 (it’s actually 8-5 for me) lifestyle I craved is more like an anchor.
I started to feel this way before my son came into this world but now that he is here, I cannot think of anything more daunting then the thought of sitting at a desk 40 hours a week.
Please don’t get me wrong; I LOVE being a strong teammate for my husband. I am proud to bring the income in that I do. My heart just can’t accept that life is spending so much time away, 5 days a week and getting to do everything else you truly enjoy in just 2 days a week. I hate that come Monday, I will spend so much time away from my son. It truly upsets me and I know I am certainly not alone in that.
So, how can I change my circumstances for the better? I shrank a tumor in my body by for pete’s sake so, I’m pretty positive this should be a cake walk. I’m focusing my energy on manifesting my ideal work/life balance.
By no means do I want to stop working, I just want to change the way I am working. I want to focus more on writing, I want more creativity, I want to use my wit and dad jokes on the daily and I want to be home while doing it.
So, every day, when I am getting ready to work in a situation that is not ideal for me, I won’t focus on how I don’t want to go. I won’t focus on how sad I will feel dropping my son off, I won’t focus on mundane work that comes across my desk. Instead, I am going to envision myself getting ready upstairs and sitting in my sunny dining room on my lap top. I will envision seeing my son during the day and taking lunchtime walks with him and my dog. I will envision writing funny, creative content that inspires me, working for a person or company that allows for flexibility and freedom.
The best part about this is I feel it coming. That excitement I felt at college graduation is creeping back but for my ideal work/life balance. I know I am on the cusp of something like this, I just feel it in my bones. I am no longer dreaming of offices, and set work hours. Instead, I am dreaming of making time for all the things I love to do and that includes “working.”
What’re you manifesting?